Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
