She is in my trunk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
now i know why i became what i already was.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
