And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
