i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
