i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
