She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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