btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
