I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
