I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
