end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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