I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
