If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
