Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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