I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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