Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
