four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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