I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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