we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
