She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Never underestimate the power of titties
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
