why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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