so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
