You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize