guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
false alarm. still invincible.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
