I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
