Porn is love you can see.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
