Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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