Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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