There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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