You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
