'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
