im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
