Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Having a random hookup so left but love u
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
