the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
