well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
