actually, I'm a sock model
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
