hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize