were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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