oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
