Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
