Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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