why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
