are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
