his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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