That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
