I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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