How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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