I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
