She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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