I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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