I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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