The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize