he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
