The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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