I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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