But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Couch. On fire.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
