have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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