then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
