I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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