I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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