Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize