this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
