She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
