Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
