remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
