thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize