So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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