I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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