i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
